Patton Oswalt Goes Off On An Epic Rant About The Matrix

Did you ever watch the video where Trump was on the WWE? Have you ever seen that? Yeah. Well, he loves it. We've all seen it because he loves retweeting. But it's so strange to think that the current president used to be on the WWE. He was on an episode of the WWE. He was in a match. He well, okay. When he pardoned Lagojevic, the former host of a game show just became president and pardoned one of his former contestants. Yes. Philip K. Dick would read that and go, yeah, I'm done. Can I get the answer? Hurry up and I'm done. I don't, I don't need to live in it. It's so strange. It's so strange. All of it's so strange. My most, my most conspiratorial thoughts are that this is, this is AI and that AI is slowly bringing us deeper and deeper into, into the, the hive, into the matrix. And the way they're doing it is by disconnecting us from each other, making social distancing the norm, cover your face with a mask, don't touch anything. Everything you're going to do virtually and slowly but surely it's going to lead to this new way of life where you're, you're, you're no longer at risk by going out there and making yourself susceptible to all these biological nasties. You're going to stay home and you're going to plug in. Or what if the AI knows that eventually it does have to unplug us and let us see that we're in the protein pods. It's like, that's going to freak them out. So let's make this fake reality so fucking insane and awful. We'll have Trump be president. We'll have this virus so that we do unplug them. They'll go, oh, thank God. Okay, good. Fine. I'm okay with, I'm, I'm cool being in the protein pod. Good. Like actually they're making it so that we'll be happy when we're shown that we're living in pod wasteland. At least there's order in the universe and it's not just completely ridiculous. I mean, I've had those arguments with people about there's a, there's a very strong case to be made, uh, for Cypher's character in the matrix of like, no, plug me the fuck back into this. Hang on. So I'm nude with no muscles, actor feed muscles, hairless in a jagged wasteland of radioactive slag, or I could be in this world where I have a nice job and I eat a steak and marry someone and I just live in this. I'm fine with it. Like Morpheus, who the fuck are you helping? We can't be dragging the thought of these, the machines aren't trying to kill us. They're just like, look, you guys and watch it with, by the way, the machines are like, you guys fucked up the earth. We're doing the best we can for you guys. We could have just let you all die in the wasteland, but instead we found a way so that you can live like the machines aren't doing anything that nefarious. Right. Right. They're just letting you have a better existence than your real one. Yeah. And it's indistinguishable. It's also, it feels, it feels better. It actually does. People always miss that line where, where, um, Smith says, you know, when we first did the matrix, it was just flat out paradise and you guys couldn't handle that and you rejected it. Like we literally had you where probably the first version of the matrix, everybody could fly and orgasms lasted three months and you could just eat all the chocolate you wanted. And then people were like, no, and then I want a goddamn cubicle job. I guess they want cubicle. Fine. Okay. Give them that. I, we tried to be nice.