Joe Rogan - Sturgill Simpson's Hilarious Dab Story

There's too many bongs out there. Right. People still rock the bong though. Gotta respect that, you know? It's like driving a manual car. I never was a bong guy. It's too heavy, man. I got shit to do, man. Oh, the hit? Just peeled down. Or the dab thing. I got friends in Colorado, California now. First time I ever did that shit. This is a pretty embarrassing story, but my buddy, you know, they were all like California, Colorado guys. They rolled pretty hard. I'm not really a heavy smoker, man, to be honest. On the road, it keeps me occupied from time to time. But if I'm riding maybe, but at home, you know, there's no need. So the first time I did that shit, I didn't know what it was. You know? I just pulled it like it was a big old bong rip, and then like everybody's face was like, oh! You know, I was like, I instantly know you just did something you shouldn't have. Oh, no. And I was like, oh, fuck, man. I sat down, and for a couple of minutes, I just started getting really cold and clammy, and I was like, yep, I'm going to puke. So I went over and I was like, I fucked this guy, so I puked right in his sink. And I was like, dude, I got to go home. I feel like dog shit now, and I'm pretty sure I'm dying. So we lived in this apartment, and I was like, we went out the door and turned the corner to go down the hallway to mine, and it was full-on vertigo, like the hallway. Every time I took a step, the hallway got twice as long. And I was like, this is fucked up. My wife was out of the country on work at the time, and I was like, I remember I was sitting down in the hallway just trying to get my shit together, man, because I thought I was having a fucking heart attack. It was just like, boop, boop, boop, boop, sweating. And I remember this voice saying, get up, you stupid, junky fuck before somebody comes out here and sees you, you know, sitting in the hallway like a dumbass. And I managed to pop out of it, and as soon as I got back to my place and sat down on the couch, everything was fine. But it was just so initial in the rush, I was just like, I don't, nobody needs to be that stone, you know, that fast. I'm sorry. Yeah, what kind of milligrams are you getting, you think? They just had like that nail head torch thing with this $3,000 glass piece. I was like, you guys are taking this shit way too seriously. Yeah, you could be curing fucking cancer somewhere right now. I'm pretty sure if they put the effort and energy and mind power in. Have you seen the laser bongs now? I got a video sent me in the daily sky, like a pressure activated laser bong. He like shoots a beam and ignites the flower. Oh, Jesus. Like that, why is, what the fuck's that guy doing? Come on, man. The thing is, they might be curing cancer. We got space colonies that somebody's going to need to build, you know. How many cancer patients are taking dabs? That might be the key. Out here probably a lot. Get them on it. If I had, if I was dying of terminal cancer, that's when you want to be that high. Look at this thing. Do that again, Jamie. Yeah. Oh, that's it. Look at this thing. Of course he had to put fucking LED lights in it. He hits the light. Look at this laser. This is fucking insane. Now, how do you not go blind staring at this? So he's heating it up. It's cooking. That's a good question. And then he takes a big hit. Wow. Yeah, anyway. Fuck. The medical strength stuff I totally understand. Fuck. That seems like you go blind. Like you're staring at a welder. Yeah. You know, you have to wear a welding mask. Probably. Somebody very close to my life, in my life recently that went, was dealing with that. Vertigo? No, like heavy medical issues, health issues. Oh. And we got him some edibles and he's like, it's the only thing that made it okay. Yeah. Like that discomfort. And so when I had to have a sinus surgery, we talked about this. When we played the Grammys out here last year, I was sick as fuck, man. I was getting all year for like the last year and a half on the road, I was getting these horrible sinus infections all the time. And I just assumed it was allergies. Tennessee is really bad about that. And we'd go to Texas or Atlanta places in October when all these crazy dogwoods are kicking off. And I would lose my voice. And by no fault of my own, it became very frustrating from a touring standpoint because I felt like I was always sick because I was. So when we flew out and did the Grammys, I was all plugged up. Couldn't sing. Obviously biggest gig in my life, kind of stressing it. So the label guy sent me to this doctor who looked up in there and realized, you know, I probably had my nose broken at some point or just a really deviated septum when I was younger. So like a broken air filter. But when they did the scan, like all the cavities were just completely caked with residual bacteria and infection. He's like, he's like, if you get on a plane and fly home, you're probably going to get meningitis. Wow. So we had to play the Grammys. He put you like nuked me with all this shit. I don't even know what he did, but it opened it up for like a day. So I was able to sing. So the next day, the whole band, they flew home. I had to stay out here for like nine days, I think, and go in every morning twice a day for IV for him to clean that shit out so I could fly home. Wow. So then we came back and did the surgery to correct it all. I went in there and scraped and cleaned them all out and shit. And along with the septum, they fixed the septum. So I haven't had a single issue since all that happened. I haven't been sick one time, which has changed my life. But while I was recuperating, long story short, I didn't want to take any of the opioid or the fucking pills that they gave me to deal with the pain. I was like, I'm not taking that shit. You know, you're going to give me this for four weeks? Like, no, no way. And so I just got a bunch of medical strength edibles. And my wife and the kids, they had to come my way to rent a house. I had to be here to like recover and shit. And man, just laying in bed, listening to headphones stoned out of my mind for like a week recovering. And that's kind of awesome because you feel like when you're actually in pain or when you need that type of that heavy type of alleviation, what what it is actually doing and offering you in terms of relief. And it gave me a whole new understanding and respect for like the medical side of that shit. Here we are back on pot again. But yeah. And then my buddy who dealt some pretty serious cancer said it was literally the only thing that made him feel better. So what did it do for you? Like, so you're you're in this terrible agony. Yeah. Those are all fucked up. I had like all this gauze and shit. And I could feel where they'd been in there, like behind scraping, scraping. And I could just, you know, so to me, like all that was gone and you just sort of get really docile and euphoric and relabbing like so fucking high. But like it didn't affect me in a in a overdosy nauseous sort of way. Like, right. Too many edibles because your body actually needs it needs it. Yeah. I laid there listening to headphones and came up with the record I'm working on now. Great for me because it was like, that's what I want to do next. You know, yeah, it's a it's a crazy ride, those edibles. But if you can take that ride, you get something out of it. And sometimes people take the ride and the feeling is just too too self-examinatory, too paranoia inducing. Sometimes people just can't handle it on a mass legality issue. I mean, if anything, I know she's going to fuck pot up, you know, but from a medical stance, like I do. I can't see any reason why we're still even talking about this. Yeah. You know, it doesn't make sense. We were being fucked over by giant pharmaceutical companies that are making billions of dollars and they would realize how much more money they would be losing. Every year if marijuana becomes fully legal, they've already lost money for sure. I guarantee you, there's people that are buying edible marijuana right now that would have bought pain pills. They know it also insurance companies. Yep. You know, on the job accidents. Oh, yeah. We didn't assist them. We're not going to pay that. So I got my life insurance now. I mean, this is crazy. I did one of the first interviews I ever did. I think I talked about like the first time I moved to Nashville and how like I didn't really know anybody and or it was just like, 2005, it was a different town then. So like I basically, and I said, I spent most of my time listening and playing bluegrass and drinking, which is pretty much what everybody does the first year they moved to Nashville. But then I said, like, after that, well, I moved out to Utah and got this job and you've got sober was working on time. So somebody put on my Wikipedia page that I've talked about my struggles with alcohol. And those people read that shit, man. When I had to get a life insurance policy like they showed up, they'd read all the interviews and like, wow, you've been really open about this and that. And I was like, yeah. And like, so you do the whole medical test. And of course, that test positive for THC because I'm on the road all the time. And I was like, but I don't I don't smoke it. You know, I vape or edibles. I don't I'm not a smoker. I never smoke cigarettes. But they list you as a smoker. And now I have like a criminal and fucking insane yearly life insurance policy because, of course, like, you know, a musician to this guy's going to die. We can't fuck the exact same thing. Yeah, it's insane. I don't know. I don't even smoke, but I'm listed as a smoker. And it's like literally nine thousand dollars, some crazy fucking premium just to make sure my family is OK if I die on a business trip. Yeah, they they tested me and they said, well, you tested positive for pot. I go, yeah, that's because I smoke pot. You know that. Like, what are you doing? Trying to pretend I'm not. I haven't died from smoking pot. No, it's stupid. It's a dumb thing. Unless you think that I'm going to do dumb shit because I'm high all the time. That's what you think. But that doesn't make any sense. You need to test how healthy I am. Guess what? I'm fucking healthy. Right. Yeah. I work out all the time. Super healthy. Eat good. I know what I'm doing. Like, you don't know what you're doing. The problem is you don't know what you're doing. You're the insurance guy. You don't know what you're doing. If you knew what you were doing, you would look at each individual and go, this guy's fine. This guy's healthy. This guy's concentrating on his health. This guy who doesn't smoke pot and just eats sugar all day, this guy's kind of fucked though. Oh, that guy's real fucked. That guy's fucked. This guy who's on Adderall because he's got a prescription for ADD and you don't have a problem with that, that guy's fucked. All these other people, there's a lot of people that are fucked out there and these insurance companies that think that a guy who smokes pot is more likely to die, there's no statistics to back that up. There's no statistics that say that people who smoke pot are more likely to get diseases or die of some sort of a fucking debilitating syndrome that came about because of overuse of THC. It doesn't exist, but they're not even testing you for alcohol. They're not even telling you, they ask you how much you drink without testing you. They can't test you. It's not in your system anymore. It's really strange because in the Navy and the railroad, there were very stringent, obviously highly stringent drug policies, but drinking your ass off every night is completely fine. Completely fine. Don't smoke a joint at 5 PM, but kill that six pack and come in here and build this train the next morning. Those were always the guys that made me nervous. Not only that, there's a culture of honor behind it, like how much you can handle your drunk. How much can you handle your drinking? Bobby had 17 fucking beers, I swear to God, bro, you would think he had zero. He's right there. Good for Bobby. Bobby's an animal. Bobby puts them down. There's a badge of honor that goes to that. Meanwhile, he's taking something that's completely hindering his thought process, his stability, his emotions are all out of whack. He's fucking drunk as shit. He doesn't know what he's doing. He's wrestling. His brain is wrestling with alcohol right now, which is one of the weirdest depressants. It's awful. One of the weirdest drugs. You spend a lot of time on the road traveling constantly. Only one you can't really drink, especially at our age, it just does things that we look at. A room full of people every night that are sometimes really drunk or if you work with people. I don't. I refuse to. I don't really let people drink in my band on the road. That's cost me players because they'd rather drink than be in your band. What do you say you don't drink? Can they have a glass of wine with dinner? That's like a beer or two. There's not getting hammered. There's people that shouldn't drink. The guy that has one drink and instantly turns into a different motherfucker altogether. By the time he's on that third one, everybody's like, how much longer we got to do this? There's a lot of those guys out there too. A lot of people. I didn't know that existed until the first time I met one. One where the switch goes off and they get gerbilized. The Jekyll and Hydron? Yeah, they get gerbilized. Gerbilized. Wow, that's a good way to put it. They're like, uh-uh. Shit, it's weird. Whoa, and they're moving around like they're a normal, awoke person.