Joe Rogan - Roseanne on Being Institutionalized as a Teen

What was it that when you first got brought into a mental hospital? What was it about? Well, I had got hit by a car and the hood ornament went in my head, in my brains, and scrambled them. And I used to be an A plus math student. I was just great in geometry. Oh my god, I loved geometry. I got straight A's. And then, you know, I sort of fell apart after that. It took a long time to heal from it. How much did your personality change? Oh, it changed drastically. But you know, you read all that stuff about traumatic head injuries now, because I do read a lot and talk to a lot of football players who have the same thing, and we do discuss it. Yeah, you change right away. It's still you, but it's kind of like an artificial intelligence you. Did you find that you became much more impulsive? Oh yeah. You know what I... Well, yeah, here's what happened. I was crossing the street on my way to school. How old were you? I was 16. No, I was 15. Going to first week of high school. And I was a big nerd. And anyway, I was crossing the street and it was the top of the hill and this woman, girl, she was on her way to the university, and the son blinded her and she ran me over. And the rest is her street. How long were you in the hospital for? So first you must have been in a medical hospital first, and then you were admitted to a mental hospital afterwards? Well, there was about three months in between. Right. But I was in the hospital for a while, you know, and I had a head concussion and a brain concussion. And I had hamburger meat for legs. So they did all these, what do they call them? Skin grafts on my legs. And yeah, I was in there for a while. Then I came out of there and I had forgotten everything about math when I returned to school, which a matter of weeks after that, maybe two months. I'm really bad on time now. And I had forgotten all my math and it was just terrible. That was a big depressive depression I went into because I couldn't remember things, you know, and also became way more impulsive. Then I was like, I don't know what I did. Then I started going really out there into the ethers. I went way out there. Like how so? Way out. You know how you go way out. Do you ever go way out? Not really. I mean, I've had a lot of head injuries. Oh, yeah. But not terrible. Mostly just punches and kicks. Nothing like car accidents or never played football. Yeah. But my head injuries, you know, they were just more accumulative when I was young until I was about 21, 22, I stopped fighting, stopped sparring. Nothing, but I definitely I'm subject to impulsive behavior. Still? Yeah. But I keep it under wraps. I keep it under control because I'm aware of it. But when I was younger, I didn't understand what was going on. I would just be subject to whims, very addictive behavior. But I tried to keep it positive, but I would be addicted to things, addicted to doing things, addicted to games, ridiculously addictive. Like spend 10, 12, 14 hours a day playing video games. That sounds like my kid. Yeah. Well, some of it's just normal because video games are awesome. But it would be for me to be everything. Martial arts, pool, whatever it is. I'd just be completely obsessed with it and be thinking about it all day. In a point where it wasn't necessarily healthy. And just on a whim, I would just want to go do something. I just almost had no control over compulsions. You know, and I think some of that is whatever brain injuries that I've had are very mild in comparison to a lot of people that I know. Certainly very mild in comparison to yours. Plus there was a lot of trauma in the state hospital that, you know, I'm like, you know, being there and seeing and experiencing. And how long did they admit you for? I was in there nine months. So what was it that they brought you in there for? How were you behaving that they decided that you needed to be admitted? I was out there. You say that like, what does that mean? I don't think there's any words the English can understand. You didn't have a control of reality. You didn't have control of your behavior. Your thinking was screwed up. I was, you know, not thinking like the normal thing that they say you should be thinking about. And but people around you had realized it that it was it was so bad that they had to admit you to a hospital. It wasn't just that, oh, Roseanne, she's eccentric. It was she needs actual medical help. Yeah, I asked to be admitted. You knew something was really wrong. Yeah, I finally admitted it was. Did you know at the time, were you completely aware that it was connected to your car accident? No, you just knew something was wrong. Yeah. And back then, they didn't really kind of understand that the way they understand it now. No, they didn't understand too much about bipolar disorder or they knew nothing about multiple personality disorder. Trauma related trauma related. Yeah, PTSD. Now they call everything PTSD. Yeah, they don't even say D anymore. They say PTSD. Post-traumatic stress. So when they admitted you, what was the treatment? Like, what did they do to you when you were inside the mental hospital? Well, they right away put me on an anti-psychotic. What was it? Do you remember? Melaril. What did that do? I don't know. I wasn't there. You weren't there. You were gone. I was gone. I was just watching these people I was in the mental institution with and I wanted to tell that story. Yeah. Because there was this one lady, I think I told this to Paul Rubens too. I think it might be where he got large Marge. But there's this one lady and she's in this cage, you know, she's in a cage with keys on her ward there. And Christ, I can't remember her name either. Marge. Her name was Marge. Yeah. And she's about 600, 700 pounds. Whoa. And she's funnier than hell. You know, I thought, man, this chick's got some good lines, you know. And I had traded lines with her and she'd laugh. You know, I always like jokes. You can always find a joke wherever you are, you know. That's the key to life, I think. But, um, so, oh, everybody called me Chunky. That was my name. Chunky. And there was another girl in there named Shorty. So it was Chunky and Shorty. We were like a duo. But anyway, so she's like, hey, Roseanne, get what's your name's keys when they go to dinner and open this up here. You know, come in here. I'm like, OK. You know, because, you know, after all, I was crazy too. And I trust I don't know. I just always I never questioned that there was danger anywhere. I always got in trouble, you know, caught, beat up something, you know. But so I did it, you know, and I can't. Oh, Anka, that was her name. The head nurse. I hated her because she told me I needed to bathe. I'll tell that story later. It was horrifying. It changed my life. Anyway, so they all go to dinner. So I go in there, steal the keys out of the thing where they are, you know, the attendants. And I go in there with Marge and leave the keys in the door and close the door. Yeah. So I'm like, hey, Marge, you know, how's it going, Marge? And she's like, Chunky, you know where they put me in this cage, don't you? Take some drag over cigarette. I go, well, why? No, I don't know why. Well, Chunky. It's because they consider me to be dangerous. I'm like, how come? I'm like Gomer Pyle. Seriously. I'm total gold. And you're like 16th at the time. 15. About eight minutes into it, I realized, oh, shit. Oh, shit. Something's going on here. That's how long it always took me to like zero in on what's happening because I'm not even there. You know, I'm always ignoring when other people talk. I don't listen. I'm thinking of funny things that they bore me, you know. Yeah. So I'm always in my own head. I never get out, really, except for when I work. But so then it got then it took a turn, you know, she's like, so it got to. Why do they consider you dangerous? You know, I had to ask it because she kept on getting me there to that point where she wanted me to ask it. I was trying to delay it, you know, because I knew they'd be back in 40 minutes and it was like going on 20 now. She goes, I'm in here because that's my voice. I got to do with Margaret. I'm in here because I broke a couple of tenants backs and they tell you that. No. My how did you do that? And in my head, I'm thinking, don't change. Don't miss a beat. Don't miss a breath. Don't look nowhere. Just keep on acting. You know, Utah, Utah girl. Because you knew she was dangerous. Well, that's when it hit my head that it was. Oh, she's talking about, you know, I'm I'm feeling like pray. Right. You know. And I go, how'd you do that? Because I figure, oh, it's an accident. You know, it's good old Marge. She sells good jokes. She goes, well, it's easy. You just know I'm doing me again. I got to do her. It's easy. You just put one hand here and one hand here and then you. Oh. Oh. Where'd you learn that? I'm changing the subject. How was your mom? What was the school like you went to? What's your favorite book? What's your favorite color? What kind of ice cream you like? You ever seen that there's worms in the oatmeal? You ever notice that? She started that one got her. She's like, I did. I did notice it crawling motherfuckers. I go, yeah, and they expect us to eat that this this one. You know, I like suddenly I'm transported to a confederacy of dances when he's on the thing against Levi pants. Remember that rant in that book. So I'm just tap dancing, really. And. Then I hear it click. I grabbed I got a fumble the keys out of the door, put him back in the attendance room, went my room. Well, you said you hear click. Yeah, I knew the first door got open. There was two doors that I heard the first door open. They're coming back from from dinner. So you got away from supposed to be sick, you know, in my room. So I didn't go to dinner. Yeah, so I'm just laying there. And that was like daily. I mean, there were so many weird people in there. We had this one girl, Rosie, her name was where she'd always grabbed. She always ended up with a pair of real sharp scissors and lunge for someone's throat. Like, what would you get them? Who's bringing her them scissors? You know, but anyway, I went on anti psychotic medicine and that was good that I was on there for the shit I saw. Now, when you say my friends hanging and stuff like that, sorry, friends hanging in the mental institution. So I saw worse than that. What'd you say? I saw, you know, victims of abuse. It's terrible by the guards. No, of kids coming, you know, victims of their family that came in that were mentally scarred by that. Now, when they put you on anti-psychonics, was it because you were exhibiting psychotic behavior? What kind of psychotic behavior? Well, they thought it was psychotic. I was just scared that they I think I was throwing them off because I wanted to think I was psychotic. I didn't want to think them to think I was schizophrenic. I knew enough not to let them near me. Because once you got the once you got the diagnosis of schizophrenic, they would let you shocks and they'd experiment on you basically. You're in a guinea pig and I didn't want that. So maybe I, you know, and then, you know, so yeah, I was doing weird things like walking down the middle of streets after I hit by the car. I walked down the middle of streets. I don't know. I thought, oh, you're going to get over your fear of crossing the streets. That's what was in my head. And then I'd walked down a highway, you know, I was in a whole other realm. It was like a real surrealistic and metaphysical realm. And I grew comfortable there. But, you know, I think most artists, writers and performers are in that world. I mean, we've got to tow in it at least.