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Brian Redban is a stand-up comic, producer, co-host of the podcast and live-streaming YouTube show "Kill Tony," founder of the Deathsquad podcast network, and a co-owner of the Sunset Strip Comedy Club in Austin. www.deathsquad.tv
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Hello freak bitches. This article that I want to talk about when we got here. A transgender woman, she was a woman, she applied to an all-male, all-female college, Wellesley College. I used to actually know a girl from Wellesley back in the Diz A. It's an all-girls campus and so she applied for the college. She was born a female but then decided to transition into, she had a very hilarious, this is hilarious, listen to the description of how she introduces himself, herself, whatever, masculine of center genderqueer. Exactly, exactly. Yeah I am in love with this story. I am in love with these kind of people. I am in love with people that are so fucking preposterous that they take preposterous to an art form and they become living parody whether they like it or not. Listen to what the fuck I just said. She goes to a college, she applies to an all-girls college, a super liberal all-girls college. She decides that she is transgender and decides that she wants to, she introduces herself as masculine of center genderqueer, changes her name to Timothy, decided that she's Timothy and asks people to use the male pronoun when referring to him. Okay so welcome on campus until the day that she announced, he announced, okay it's he now whatever, that he wanted to run for the school's office of multicultural affairs coordinator whose job is to promote a culture of diversity. Now who, you would think, would need diversity more than someone who's a transgender man. You know I mean that's that's a very small segment of the population and they're often maligned and you know this is a socially marginalized group and it would be nice for an open-minded liberal college to accept someone like this and to recognize what a perfect person to be a part of our campaign encouraging people to you know to be more open-minded and accept people. No they attacked her because now they felt that she is a white man and they don't want a white man in that position because if a white man is in that position then they're supporting the patriarchy. So there was three other candidates for the right? All women of color, wonderful if one of them win and then you got okay you know you're problem solved you got a woman of color in that position, plenty of diversity there you're good right? No they all dropped out and then they stated they started an anonymous Facebook campaign encouraging people not to vote at all to keep a white man from winning the position. This is amazing. This is the left eating itself that's what's happening they're eating themselves it is a feeding frenzy. I used to have piranhas okay and one of the things about piranhas is when one gets a limp they just jack that motherfucker they are the most ruthless cunts when one piranha would just be you know sometimes you have a fish tank one fish will just start swimming weird they start swimming kind of half sideways for some reason you're like is that fish okay and you have to look at them like what's going on with that fish that shit didn't last in that tank baby no those motherfuckers are just they just start taking chunks out of them that's what's happening here the left is they're turning on themselves they've run out of outrage they've made so many safe places they don't want anything to be safe anymore and they want to be able to go to war over everything they're ferocious they're piranhas they are social idea piranhas and they're attacking a genderqueer masculine of center man for not being diverse enough for being a part of the patriarchy born a woman born a woman lived as a woman nope you're a white man now you fuck your piece of shit you're a part of the problem it makes no sense it does make sense though it makes sense because it highlights what this movement is all about it's socially retarded people that are left alone to their own devices and they're just devouring each other like zombies they're just tearing into each other like like zombies that are trapped into a fucking room they're just rah they're just ripping each other apart you're not diverse enough you're not progressive enough fuck you you're such a pig I'm triggered they're just triggering each other left and right this is this is an onion article this is a fucking onion article and it's not this is the national review this is a goddamn onion article and it's not transgender woman can't be diversity officer because she's a white man now makes zero sense it's not a fake article I mean that seems perfect it's perfect it's perfect it's amazing it's beautiful it's a rose it's a rose in a bad neighborhood it pops out of the concrete and it comes out perfect it's amazing this is art it's it's the universe creating art with our own folly that's what it is it's culture it's called it's it's people you know there's something that happens to people when you deny reality when you don't look at things objectively like there's there's I think like priests that molest kids right some of that has to be from suppression some of it has to be probably they're abused themselves there's probably all sorts of but some of that perversion has got to come from suppression it's like the Catholic schoolgirl thing that everybody knows you know when I was in high school there was no scientists in my fucking ninth grade class but we all knew the girls who went to Catholic schools were hoes and why are they hoes they're hoes because everybody tells them they can't be a hoe everybody's talked to them constantly about you are going to go to hell do not touch a man's genitals don't you do anything those girls were freaks they were the biggest freaks and we all knew it it was it was there was no books on it there was no YouTube videos that we could watch but we fucking knew it man we all knew it and I think it's a suppression issue and this is suppressing individual identity this is suppressing free speech this is suppressing objectivity you're not allowed to have unique or intertwined thoughts you're not allowed to share opinions with the left and with the right you're not allowed to you have to have and you're constantly worried about being called out you're constantly worried about being outed and docked and called out and shamed everyone's shaming people and attacking people and it's this fucking feeding frenzy I love it I'm happy I'm so happy when I read a story like this I would encourage this woman to fight to the death for her position oh man she's a man now fight to the death for that position I mean literally I want you to show up for school in a fucking in armor with a sword and let them know that you are you are here because you are a warrior for diversity and you're gonna you're gonna you're gonna take this to the very end to the very end of time oh it's amazing this is an amazing story it's like one of the greatest stories the the universe has ever told because it's it's just and it highlights that story that we were just talking about where the the thing that was up on the the thing earlier with the the the United States is like a powder keg this is like what we're talking about like entitled ridiculous people that they don't live in reality you're not and you're concentrating on nonsense but why they concentrating on nonsense because they don't have to worry about feeding themselves they don't have to worry about shelter they don't have to worry about being in Ohio having no fucking power for a week and everybody has to stay alive you can't get to work everybody's like walking back and forth to each other's house sharing food and going out and getting firewood together and dragging it back at some little kids wagon that's what people do when they want to survive when when you want to survive you come up with ways that you could all work together when it's too easy to survive you start attacking people for nonsense and that's what the fuck is going on here you got a campaign to keep you we're gonna make sure that a white man is not gonna win this like as if she's really a white man why are we pretending that's a man left of queer gender queer masculine of center shut the fuck up your girl your girl or a guy whatever you are who cares what the fuck is probably way more to this story she's just a big bitch and I like she's just got probably just eating too much pussy on campus they're all mad yeah she's too good at it she's too good at it but she's genderqueer so that means I don't think you do anything I don't know what that means I don't think they know what it means but you ever pansexual there was a woman who was like she was making history this is hilarious this is a hilarious story she's making history because she was the first gen oh she was the first pansexual person to take office what the fuck are you talking about what does that mean she means she doesn't sexually identify she's not particularly sexually attracted to either race or either gender it's either one or both my Cyrus is pansexual of course she is that's called being a freak pansexual what exactly does that mean but go find the politician first politician as pansexual it's just so stupid pansexual politician so it's like a new word for bisexual it's not even bisexual it's cuz like they have to be special and it has to be Mary Gonzalez Texas State Representative identifies as pansexual in new interview first of all good for her eat that pussy suck that dick have a party honey I'm not hating do whatever you want but do we really have to make a new name for it fucking Christ and I posted something about this a while back on Twitter and there was people that were defending the term pansexual like fuck you fuck you for trying to muddy up the world fuck you for having this on your mind unless you're mocking it fuck you for taking this seriously fuck you for this being an actual thing where you want to debate it how bad is your job how bored are you at work that you're sitting in front of your Twitter count defending pansexuality you stop you stop I'm sick she could do it I have no problem with it don't get me wrong but you fucking stop if you think you're gonna defend that fuck you you need to go cut snow cut snow you go cut trees you can go cut trees and shovel snow over a Jamie's parents house in the middle of the winter when the fucking powers off for a month that's what you need to do you need to dig Brian red bands mom out of the fucking woods dig her out of the woods it's a mild dirt road back to that lady's house get get going fuck face that's like what is that how many thousand feet is a mile five thousand five thousand plus feet of snow shovel and you fuck how much for the driveway you remember that you remember that when you were a kid you'd go to a lady's house and you know ma'am we're shoveling stuff well how much for the driveway like oh we're gonna need 20 for this one that's too much that's too much it's a long driveway ma'am it's gonna take us a couple hours oh that's just too much you