Joe Rogan: I Know a Lot of Smart People with Idiots for Parent

There's a lot of people that are boring. Male and female. Of course. I couldn't imagine being a girl and having some boring-ass fucking dude trying to stick his hog in you. It's gotta be brutal. Everywhere you go and then saying, hey, you know you should probably smile a little. Make you look better. I hate that move. Has that ever worked? I don't know. Maybe it must have. Guys who do that, they make us look bad. A really dumb guy and a dumber girl? Yeah, maybe it would work. Oh, I'm sorry. Sometimes I'm self-conscious about my smile. Oh, you got a beautiful smile. You think so? Yeah. Oh, okay, thanks. Yeah, like those two are made for each other. You guys deserve your good idiots. They really should both go into the woods and get eaten by wolves. That's what should happen. Right. In the real world. Like if we really were trying to make a better human race, there'd be more variables. There'd be more traps. That's true. That's true, but we gotta be nice, you know? Well, we should be nice. We should be nice, but sometimes I think it's just genes. Like sometimes people just have knucklehead genes. Well, yeah, sometimes I see people, like you know when you're walking down the sidewalk and you're seeing somebody's living room and they're at 8,000 pounds, they're watching 2 1-1-1-1 men, they got a bowl of Cheetos and a beer, and you're like, you're kind of a waste of life. Like no offense. You deserve life. You have a right to live, but I'm out here trying to write jokes and I'm driving from gig to gig. I'm doing pods. I'm going gay, whatever it is. At least I'm trying something. At least I have a little ambition. You're moving. You're out there experiencing life. Yeah, even if you send a tweet out, at least you put something into the world, even though it could be horrible. But this guy, you're just waiting to die. You're just counting the minutes until you go. There's something about like... And then they have kids. And then you're like, now you brought even more shit into the world. Ah, my God, I hate myself. I'm sorry. It's okay, you're all right. But you see, you're a dad of nine or whatever. I have 80 kids. 80 kids, that's a lot of testosterone you're just putting in you. Shooting loads all over the place. But yeah, so you probably teach your kids, hey, make something with your life. Yeah, well they can only use electronics for a certain amount of time during the day. Good for you. They're involved in activities. They play sports, they do things. I think you gotta do stuff with them too. And also they have to see that you're doing stuff. Yes, yes. As a parent, like one of the things that kids get out of you is that they see you live by example. Yes. That's important. Totally. And then on the flip side though, I get selfish and I go, well it's a good thing this fat cunt is sitting in a barclounder all night. Because now I get to go and do something with my life and he's not in my way. That and you also feel better. You know, you come home from a hard day of getting after it. You see that fat slob sitting in front of the TV laughing really hard at Big Bang Theory. Yes. And you're like, okay buddy, I'm fucking better than you. You hate to say it but. You do hate to say it. That's why like sometimes I think us being we're under six foot. And that, isn't that a bummer? Wouldn't you love to be six foot? I don't know man. Come on. Me being short has helped me be more ambitious. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. Makes you push. It's probably a benefit to it. Right, right. You want it. That's why like, oh that sounds bad but ugly people are funny. So a lot of ugly people are funny. You gotta bring it. They did some study where kids trust ugly people less. So it's not just being shallow, it's kinda innate. Oh yeah, well imagine being a woman who has terrible genetics and there's probably someone listening to it right now. And it's not a goddamn thing you can do about that. Yeah, it's not your fault. You got a giant Fred Flintstone head. Sure. You're trying to make your way through the saliva for the football player's body. Oh yeah, got some moles on ya. Oh, you got everything wrong. Yeah. You hair's falling out. You're like shit. Yeah, yeah. Good stubby fingers. Bad jowls, you know, you got the turkey neck. Yeah, everything, weird elbows. And you're just out there just trying to get after it. Yeah. And nobody wants it. Yeah, that's why I love an ugly lady who's horny. That's your favorite? I love that, I'm not saying to bang. I mean I have. But I love an ugly horny lady because she's, I feel like we have a lot in common. I have a buddy of mine and his favorite is a girl with kind of a muggsy face but a killer body. Oh, that is. Because those gals go to work. That hits a nerve in a guy because he's like, it's attainable and she's probably got like normal self-esteem and she's not entitled. She's at the gym every day, all day, just fucking doing squats. Yeah, it's the same with meathead boring guys who are like, I gotta get some traps because I got no skills that ended up talking wise. Yeah, just find some dingbat chick and shoot those fucking loads into her. Yeah, you hope that all those groups meet. Like you dumb workout guy. And then they get hit by an asteroid right there. Yeah, or that, or that. Right there, around the spot. Yeah, that's, I mean, but sometimes those dingbats have kids and those kids go, goddamn, my parents are fucking stupid. That's true. I'm gonna do something with my life. That's a good point. That happens a lot. I know a lot of really fucking smart people who have idiots for parents. That's a good point.