Joe Rogan - Derren Brown: Ignoring Haters is a Recipe for Failure

The real problem with the secret is the idea that you're taking all these people that are already successful. They've achieved a certain result. And then you're asking them, how did you achieve that result? Well, I thought positive and I just really put my mind to it and I dreamt on it. They all have this in common. Well, you know who also thought positive? A bunch of losers. They tried and they got hit in the head by asteroids or car accidents or the world turned bad on them. That actually can happen too. So it's just you're using, you have a biased focus group. Yes, exactly. And the idea of setting a goal, fixating on it and ignoring all the haters and ignoring all the people that will bring you down is a perfect recipe for failure. As much as it's a common anecdotal story of success. Well, the problem with that is if you just focus on the one, the thing about human beings, I think, is that we really do need other people's input and interaction. The idea that you're going to work in a vacuum and create this great masterpiece without any interaction with other human beings. It doesn't really work like that. It doesn't because life is active and messy and ambiguous and ambivalent. And I think the trouble is we get hung up on nouns like happiness or meaning or even the self, right? Because I think actually these things are verbs. Maybe we self as a verb. Maybe it's something that happens dynamically in the relationships that we're in. Maybe our self is something that kind of extends out into the world and is kind of fluid in that way. And happiness maybe is maybe that's an activity. Meaning is maybe an activity. But we reduce these things to nouns like they're really neat, easy, isolated things. And they're really not. So I can in a lot of the TV shows that I do, I'm putting people through like a transformative process and they're reacting to kind of really extreme situations. And I always have people saying, oh, I wouldn't do that. Although they think it's all fake because I would never do that. But they're viewing themselves as this isolated, it's just a sort of individual kind of separated from everything else, watching that and thinking how they behave. What they're not doing is thinking, and if I were in that situation with the same pressures. Yes. And that's amazing that that does change us, that we're not these, you know, for two, three hundred years, we've had this idea that we are these. Kind of, it all goes back to like not being influenced by kings and priests. Like it was, this is John Locke. It's like the beginnings of that idea that, no, no, we should not, we should have this kind of personal authority. And it's drifted into, through Kant I think, it's drifted into a really unrealistic and unfair sense of how isolated we are. And we're not, we're clearly social creatures.