Joe Rogan & Chris Ryan on Open Relationships

A publisher would support an author through three, four, five books thinking eventually something's going to hit. This guy's got talent eventually and so is an investment. Now they expect you to have your own platform, your own access to media. Sometimes they're asking authors to hire their own editors, their own publicists. Really? Yeah. But they still get all the money. They still get the same contract. The ratios are the same. So it's like, yeah, that's why I say it's like an appster kind of thing. It's at the point now where it's like, wait a minute, if I got a platform, I got access to media, I'm hiring my own editor, why am I giving you creative control and 92% of the fucking revenue? It's a strange business. That is a strange business. Essentially what they have is credibility. So if you self publish or publish with some independent publisher, the New York Times isn't going to review it or, you know. They won't? No. Because it's a very insular world. Well, that's crazy. If it's a book that takes off, then a publisher will come in and buy it. So like Fifty Shades of Grey, that was self published. I wonder why. Yeah. But look what happens. Yeah. They found they tapped into a market, a chick that likes to get spit on. Right? There are a lot of them. There's a lot of them. I don't know about spit on. Oh yeah. But certainly choked. Yeah. Smacked around. By a billionaire. Yeah. Good looking guy with a heart of gold. Heart of gold. Spit in your mouth. Yeah. And then she, and then ultimately he'll see the light and he'll be tamed. Of course. Of course. That's the story. The fantasy. Yeah. That's the fairy tale. That's what everybody wants. See, that's why I was saying earlier, I've got this idea, I was talking to Duncan about this the other night, I've got this idea to write an erotic memoir. But that'll sort of be like my last book. Because at that point I'll have burned all the fridges. He'll be the only person who would ever interview me after that. I think I was planning for it to come out around my 60th birthday and it'll be called an old manifesto. It's just- If you change the names of people. Oh no, I'm not worried about the people. I'm not going to hurt anyone in the book. It's more just about- How many people you fucked and people find out the truth? Yeah. Dun dun dun. Dude, you're going to become legendary. Listen, the people love you though. But it's not a book about how much I got laid. It's not a book about how cool I am. It's a book about the amazing things I've learned in sexual situations and that the world is so different from what people think. How so? There's just so many things going on that mainstream people can't imagine. I was in college the first time a man told me he would be happy for me to have sex with his wife. It wasn't a kinky weird thing. It was like, I'm not doing it. She's wonderful. I noticed that you guys like each other. I just want you to know it's cool with me. Wow. That's the first time. Since then, there have probably been, I don't know, half a dozen or something. Mothers, like would you please have sex with my daughter? She's a good one. Generally it's because she didn't like the boyfriend. Always. Yeah. So it's like, will you show my daughter there's a world out there that she doesn't know about? Yeah, there's always that. But then they recruit you and you got to take on the project. Well, should you choose to accept it? Should you choose to accept it, they expect you to stick around as well? Not necessarily. Yeah. The world's weird. So just stuff that people think like, oh my God, if you have sex with someone's wife and he knows he's going to kill you, well, maybe not. Maybe he'll take you out for a beer afterwards and you'll be friends. This is the subject of Ari Shafir's podcast this week with Aubrey Marcus. And they're talking about open relationships. And they get super honest. It's very intense. I think that we live in cultural patterns and that what we see around us, we replicate. I think there's a lot of evidence for that. If you just pay attention, forget about studies. Just look at how different people are in other parts of the world. People that are putting plates in their lips and rings through their noses. People that the way people tattoo themselves, the way people express themselves and dance, like human beings vary so wildly in what we accept and what we don't accept. I was going to bring up Japan earlier. It's one of the more fascinating travel experiences I've had was going to Japan because when you go to Tokyo, you realize like this is a completely different way of living. Like they have a completely different way of interacting on the streets. They have a completely different way that they have decorated their buildings completely different. Like I have tattoos. They told me I had to wear long sleeves at the gym. I had to go back and change my shirt. They don't accept exposed tattoos. Because it's associated with organized crime. Yes. I'm going to go back and there's a lot of that, like where you realize like this is a totally different way of living. But if I lived there, I wouldn't live like these people. So the momentum of these patterns in these cultures gets established and then it takes something radical to lift them and to free people from these patterns. And once they're free from these patterns, then they have a real opportunity to objectively assess the way they behave and whether or not this is the way they want to behave or the way they want to live or whether or not they're just expected to because of this unthinking culture, this momentum.