Joe Rogan - Becoming a Parent Changes You

If you're around the kid enough, it changes who you are. And if you're not around the kid, it changes who you are because then you realize you're not around the kid and that's going to take a piece out of who you think you are. But you know what, if you, if you, and we have friends who aren't great dads or whatever, and you can see it in their kids. I can, I can, I'm not saying a psychologist or I'm some expert in parenting, but if I go to a person's house and I see the way the kids treat the parents, I go, you're not around enough, man. So I promise you, I can tell my son doesn't act like that. Yeah. Because one thing you can call me, whatever you want, whatever you want. One thing I am is a beast of a dad. I know that. I don't know if I'm good comic. I don't know if I was a good fighter. I don't know if I'm good podcaster. That's all up for debate. One thing I know is I'm a fucking good dad, man. Good for you, man. That's a, it's a very, very, very, very important quality. And that quality, when your kid becomes an adult, that's going to be just a major factor in how you get along. Yeah. And even parents, I know friends that had bad relationships with their parents when they lived with them. And then once they got out, their parents were nice to them, but their parents were shitty to them when they were kids and they always hold it against them. They always have that shit in the back of their head. Like, why were you a dick when I was 12? You know, that, that, that shit is always in their head. It's like that Avatar horse, when you're young, you, you mix together. And if you don't make together when you're young, and I was talking to someone, a therapist, they're saying, I think it's from like to the three, if you don't make that connection, when, when you're like, oh, when they're four, like, oh, I'll do it now. It's almost too late. Cause they already developed these, these, these brain pathways. We're like, nope, my dad's an ass. And there's really nothing you can do to fix it. Yeah. Man. I went to the movies yesterday with my kid. My movie. We went to see the Nomeo and Juliet. Oh, dope. What is it? A Sherlock gnomes. Yeah. The Sherlock gnomes. Yeah. Cute little movie. I'm like, I'm gonna go to the top of this place. You know, you lean back, you know, those things. Yeah. The seats lean back. Good food. And you take the, uh, the seatrest down and she just, my seven year old just snuggles with me. The best. They're snuggling, watching a movie. I'm like, I couldn't be happier. Yeah. I don't want to see this stupid fucking movie. No, but I don't care. She wants to. Yeah. So I'm, I couldn't be happier. I sat there and watched this silly, no shit movie. Yeah. She's just a little snuggle bunny. I've watched Boss Baby nine times. Boss Baby's not a bad movie. In like a week though. That's pretty funny movie though. Boss Baby's great. Outfall is the voice. I've watched like nine times, but my son, whenever he watches snuggles up when he, when usually this is why I want a daughter. This is why I'm jealous you have daughters. Cause daughters love their dads. My son. I'm like you little traitor. I'm a bitch. Mommy, mommy. Like dude, it's me. Every morning you cry for your mom. Girls are like that too in a lot of ways. Sometimes. You got to accept the fact that the mom is not just the soft, sweet woman in the house, but she's also the person who made them in her body. Yeah. And there's chemical connection out of her body, man. There's no, like I had to deal with my wife. Like I'm not naming any kids. I go, I got veto power. I go, but you do way more work. Like it's way harder to make the person. I go, as long as you try to call the kid applesauce or something fucking stupid. Yeah. You know, I just don't feel like it's, it's not an even proposition. All I did is fuck her. Yeah. What you gonna do anyways? But now we are dealing with this seed, you know, you got a bonus. It's overtime for you. It is kind of crazy though that sex is how you make people. I know. And everybody wants, just wants to fuck all the time and you want to fuck a bunch of people. You don't, but a lot of people don't want kids. No, hell no. You know, open my eyes, like in a big way, uh, in a podcast recently that's really been making me think a lot about this is Brett Weinstein. He's the professor that got in that. Do you know the, you know, he is. Yeah. The controversy with the evergreen and all that. And they were taking the day. No, that's yeah. It wasn't a pronoun thing. It was the day of absence. Yes. They wanted all the white people to stay home. He's like, that's racist. Ridiculous. Yeah. Anyway, he was on, you said there's two different things that men are attracted to. They're attracted to a woman that they think would be a great companion and a great mother. And like someone who he said, there's a difference between hot and beautiful. Correct. Like some women are beautiful and like they're loving. You want to be around them. It goes, but then there's other women who are just hot. And in males, that very receptive woman who doesn't require any commitment was an opportunity for men to spread their seed with someone who they didn't have to be around for. Wow. Yeah. So there's literally like a programming in a man's mind. So you see a girl with big giant tits and a little waist and a fat ass hanging out of her shorts and she's got sloppy makeup on and she looks at you and you're like, okay. Let's do this. But that's what that is. It's not like you don't want to live with her. Right. You're not saying I would like to start a relationship with you. It's like, no, I want to shoot my load into you and then you raise my kid when I'm nowhere near you because it's an opportunity for my DNA to propagate. Wow. That makes so much sense. It makes so much sense. I literally never considered it until he brought it up on the podcast. I went, oh, duh. Me neither. I just thought she's hot. Whatever. She's just hot. Dirty in a dirty way. Why she's so hot. I'm attracted to that. Yeah. I told my girl, Joe, I told my girl, Joe, probably four weeks into five weeks where we're getting serious and she got this job offer to go to Miami and she was talking about career and stuff like that. And I went, no, that's all cool. And no one's career first more than me. However, you know, you're put on the search to be a mom, right? Like you're going to be such a beast of a mom. I guarantee you, because I saw her interact with Callen's kids. I can guarantee you, you might be the greatest host in the world, but you're going to be the best mom I've ever seen. And then she's like, really? I'm like, I guarantee you. Bam. Bam. Yeah. Well, that's just those qualities that you can see it's something. And when someone's not, when someone's a bad mom, it's such a depressing thing. Nothing worse. It's so depressing to be around a woman who's like really short with her kids and shitty with them. And like, or even as a kid, if I had friends who like talk back to their parents or mean to their parents, like, oh, God, what's wrong with you? If I was dating a girl, she'd like bad mouth her mom. Like what's wrong with you, girl? You know, and the hard thing is that pattern is hard to break. It's hard to break. Those kids may very well have that same kind of behavior towards their kids. Like when they become adults, it's a hard pattern to break. Sometimes you need the right person in your life, like a good person in your life that you, you know, a wife or husband or whoever it is, you know, when you match up with that person, like it changes who you are too. That's what I always say that one of the most important things about community, like your community of friends is when you have good friends, those people change you. Like you react like everyone is your tribe. You react like everyone's your friends. So you want good for them. You love them. You care about them. They change who you are. They change, they inspire you or they, whether they inspire you with being smart or their kindness or with their ambition, whatever it is that we're aren't, we're not individuals. You're a piece of a community always. And that community, even if it's a small community that you call family, that piece is dependent upon who you do that piece with. You might be an amazing dad with the right woman, but with the wrong woman, you might be so frustrated with the relationship that you're not as good at that as you are right now. There might be chaos going on all the time. You might be situations you put the kid in where you're yelling and screaming at each other that the kid shouldn't see. All these different factors that are dependent upon your relationship with this other person and they changed you and you changed them. You might be the wrong person for them. They might be super cool and calm with someone else, but with you, it doesn't hit buttons for the reason. It's like a woman saying to you, you know, you don't want an equal. Like, well, I don't want this. Yeah. I don't want this. You might be right, but I know for sure I don't want that. You're threatened. You're threatened by a strong woman. No, I'm threatened by you. You're just, you're aggressive for no reason. Who the fuck has ever said that? You're threatened by a strong man. You're threatened by a strong man. Like what? What? Shut up. What are you calling yourself? A strong man. Get the fuck out of here. Any guy who calls himself a strong man like that, most likely is a bitch. Most likely is just trying to prop himself up. And I feel the same way about women who say that shit. Women who are like, you know, you're scared of a strong woman. Like, okay, am I really or are you a cunt? Yeah. Are you a cunt? Just a raging cunt. This cunt talk? This sounds like this. This is your cunt talk, Sam again. Super uncomfortable. I don't know what got us to this position, but whatever I did, please, I'll apologize. But I also feel like in this community of friends that we're talking about, if you were a shit father, it would show elsewhere in your life, like around us or if we're at the Comedy Store or a restaurant or in your social media. It's going to come out one way or another, you know? And it'd be tough to be in that group. You know that expression of how you do one thing is how you do everything? Yes. Yeah. I think there's something to that. I mean, obviously, there's people that are really good at one thing and suck at other things. So it's not always 100 percent correct. But, you know, if you're a shitty dad, you're going to be a shitty friend. I agree. And if you're a shitty friend, you're probably going to be a shitty dad. And I say this too with like, with dudes who are shitty dads, it's like, all right, if you're willing to do that to your, literally, you're connected to this person chemically. They're made of your DNA. If you're willing to treat him like that, when the going gets rough for me, where the fuck are you going to be? There's no way I want you in my foxhole. Yeah. Yeah, that's big, man. And then people that don't, they don't understand that. They don't understand what they're doing wrong. That's rough, too. It's a bummer. People that can't see it, you try to explain it to them and they can't see it. The one thing people won't put up with, though, is, and I would never do this, but if you give someone parenting advice, it just doesn't. There's just certain things you can't talk about usually. Politics, religion, and parenting. The only way I think parenting advice works ever is if you talk about one great thing that you found that you do with your kid without criticizing that other person. You could give them advice, but not give them advice, but you could relay your personal positive experiences and either they take it or they don't. But as soon as you start saying, hey, man, I see how you talk to your son, and you're like, what? What the fuck did you say? I know. People get super offensive. He's an individual, man. You treat him like he's an object. I don't fucking treat my son like all of a sudden. It's on. Game over. He's not even listening to what he said. No, you're all ramped up. Dude, I had a ... My son was one and a half at the time. I was taken to this play area and he didn't express himself and everyone was older and he'd hit kids. He's a big kid. He's a 99 percentile for size and all that stuff. He would hit kids. The place where I was taking him in Brentwood knew I was a former fighter. One of the guys who works front desk is a fan. I've talked MMA with him. They took me to the side and said, we got a bit of a problem because Tiger is hitting kids and we think it's in direct correlation of you letting them watch fights. And from what you did, I just started laughing. You guys are silly as fuck. A, I'm never bringing him back. B, he's one and a half. Everyone else in there is three. Yeah, he cold cocked that kid with a left hook and I'm proud of him. He proud of him. That kid took his toy. However, it's just this is what kids do. They hit, man. It's nothing and I tell him, no, I'm staying on top of my helicopter with the parent to fuck him when he's in there. But he's one and a half. The rest of the kids are older. And trust me, he's not watching UFC. It has nothing to it. They think like ... Took me to the side. This lady was like that U of FC or whatever you're getting into. I was like, oh my God. This is some Brentwood shit, lady. This is some Brentwood shit right now. All right. Yellow meat dirt. If they hit each other, they hit each other. We're concerned that you're constantly reaffirming his gender without him choosing. We're concerned.