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Greg Fitzsimmons is a comedian, actor, and writer. He hosts the “Fitzdog Radio” podcast and co-hosts “Sunday Papers” and “Childish.” His new special, “You Know Me,” premieres on YouTube on 8/27.https://gregfitzsimmons.com/ "You Know Me" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvUqkWh_x4U
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Must one workout every day? Isn't that part of it too? Must one workout every day. One must workout. One must burn 500 calories in a workout every single day. Seven days a week, 365 days. Well, 60. 30. 30 days. I'm already expanding. So is there a contest about who can burn the most calories? We're not doing that because we go crazy. The problem with contests is they absorb your whole life. And everybody except Ari has a family and obligations and jobs and podcasts and different things they have to do. We did it one year, the contest, and it was pretty obvious halfway in that we were fucked. I remember you got behind and then you just powered through and came from behind with like some crazy workouts. Well, I was never really behind. I mean, I might've been behind for like a day. In the beginning we were trying to figure out how much we were going to burn, because we were using this my zone thing. So it's like you wear a chest strap. And the chest strap gives you points with the application for however many minutes you are at 80% of your max heart rate versus 90% of your max heart rate at like 90's, 2 points, 80's, 1 or something like that. And Ari figured out that you could watch TV while you were doing cardio. So he watched movies on an iPad while he was doing cardio. And he ran up a big number, like 400 in a day. We were like fuck. That's a big number. That was like two movies. And so then we really started getting crazy. And then one day I did 1100 points. I did seven hours of cardio. No shit. Mostly what, running? No mostly elliptical machine. Because you watch movies. So I watched John Wick like 50 times. I kept rewinding it to the scene in the bathhouse where he kills everybody. Just because it's so adrenaline filled you can keep going. I watched some fights. I watched a bunch of shit. And it's like it just got too crazy. We were losing our minds. We were really losing our minds. We were talking a lot of shit to each other. And Tom got sick. Tom got the flu. When the day got better from the flu he ran 13 miles. No shit. The day he got better. He ran 13 miles through his neighbor, through the hills. Damn. That's different than a treadmill. Fuck yeah it is. 32 miles on the street is like. That's real. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah we went crazy. Yeah. And like if that kept going imagine if we had it for like six months. We had a fitness contest for six months and at the end of six months you win like a million dollars. Yeah. You could have got a sponsor for that. Easy. Yeah. The problem is it would become your whole life. We would go crazy. And Burt would die. Burt would for sure have a heart attack. Or you'd just be content coming in last like he did last time. He talked a lot of shit and came in last. He did. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah it seems like a great idea for your men. Like for me working out is just for my head. I don't even give a shit. I mean this body I was naturally born with. It's a gift. But my brain if I work out man I just feel happy and if I don't I get depressed. So one of the things we talked about Tom and I talked about specifically was that when you do a lot of cardio in a day like four hours of cardio in a day he goes all the internal chatter just goes away. Yeah. I go yeah there's like there's no negative talk. Yeah. There's no like anxiety and angst. And I really wonder how much of that that people walk around with all day could be fixed with cardio. Could be fixed with like rigorous exercise. You know and they say they say weightlifting helps anxiety too. They say strength training does. But for me it's like cardio. Cardio seems to put me in this place where it just is like whatever who gives a fuck. It's just like just a really peaceful it like balances out what's really important to think about and worry about versus like things are just sort of bouncing around your head. You don't know if I should pay attention to that one or that one and what should I freak out about the most.