Joe & Duncan Roast the Caveman movie "IceMan"

Can you imagine if there really are these creatures that have no greed? Like if greed has been engineered out of their body. They have no materialism whatsoever, no desire to own things, no desire to possess people. All reproduction is done through some sort of technology. All they do is communicate with thought. So their thoughts are purely, there's no misrepresenting it. There's no slick talk, it's just pure thought. And you 100% get exactly what they're thinking which forces everybody to kind of be cool. And they don't have any emotions in that regard. They're more advanced. They don't have any primate thinking other than the ability to solve problems. And they come down and they check on us every now and then. Yeah. Or we, you know, or like we're like the, we're what they look like when they come into time or something. Right, we're the fucking ancestors. If you were going to go see a human ancestor, like at its most fascinating, I would want to be at the early, early, early days. I would want to see like Australia pithicus. Like what was that thing like? What did it look like? Like how did it behave? How did it move around? How many of them were there? How did they avoid getting eaten? And just imagine that one day that's going to be a person that makes skateboards. I know. So bizarre. Bizarre. And how quickly it can happen. Bizarre. Yeah. Bizarre. So strange. Yeah. And that we like, apparently there were all these like versions of protohominids, not just neanderids, but like. Denisovans. Implying like a war or some kind of like. Survival of the fittest at the very least. Yeah. Multiple versions of humans. Yeah. Those Denisovans, they, I mean, I don't think they even found out about those until the 2000s. Somewhere in the 2000s they realized there was a whole nother version of the human race that they weren't aware of before. Do you remember that stupid movie where like, I can't remember the actor. It's called Ice Man. Remember that? Actor gets stuck in ice. This is like 80s. They thaw him out. Like not an actor. Wasn't he talking about Encino Man? No. Not Paulie's thing. I think, I'm not sure which came first. This one was actually a romance I think. What? No. Like a Neanderthal or like someone like that is in ice. They thaw him out. Ice Man. Yeah. What? He never saw this? Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Hey, it's available on Blu-ray. What year did this take place? I honestly don't. I saw it as a kid. Oh my God. That looks amazing. 1984. 1984. That's before people knew any better. But I think it's like they're full in love with women. There's a romantic, I think he's like, there's a romantic element to it. Oh my God. But I could be wrong about that. How the fuck does he even learn English? How long does that take? I'm watching it tonight. So they find him. Oh my God. So he's encased in ice and oh my God, his heart's beating. They bring him back to life. Shut the fuck up. Oh, they found an arrowhead in him? Yeah. He had shot one arrow and then froze to death and they have him and he wakes up. This is the dumbest movie I've ever even heard of. If he starts fucking Timothy Hutton's girlfriend, this is like, this is prehistoric cuck porn. That is bad luck. Oh my God. Oh my God. He's dressed like a fucking caveman. This is how bad this movie is. Look, Lacey wearing his old clothes. He didn't get any new clothes. They fucking thawed him out and put him back in his own bare skins. This is the dumbest fucking movie the world's ever known. This is so stupid. And there's, there's the girl. Oh yeah. She's like, you don't even know him. He's like, he's a fucking caveman. He doesn't even understand fire. He is so sweet to me and you are such a fucking asshole and you're always busy at the lab. You're always busy at the fucking lab. Uke came and showed me his heart and yet he can't talk. Whatever. But you can't make love. Uke's got a fucking stone knife to her throat and she's coming like a rocket ship. You walk in and she's, she's actually grabbing the stone knife and forcing onto her own neck Oh my God, dude, that is so fucking, that is just bad luck. You're like in the Arctic. You're in the Arctic. You're in the Arctic with like, what the, you're in the, you're with the, one of the only women at the research station. Oh my God. She starts fucking a caveman. You thawed out. Oh my God. Oh my God. Look at how bad the makeup is. Oh, I come from other. Oh, he's got whiskers. Oh, he's got whiskers. Oh, he's got whiskers. Oh, he's got whiskers. Oh, he's got whiskers. Oh, he's got whiskers. Oh, he's got whiskers. Oh, he's got whiskers. Oh, he's got whiskey. Is that a bone? Oh, it's a bone. I thought it was whiskey. I could be wrong about the romance. I can't remember. Play some of this, this dialogue so I can see how ridiculous it must be. And he just starts whittling a stick. Carving a bone. He's gonna get mad that dude keeps tapping on that log. He's gonna fuck him up. He just pulls his scalp. You're like, bro, you are annoying me. I'm ready to go to sleep. You're gonna attract cats. That's what our nemesis was, Duncan. Cats. Most of history. Most of history. You know, I never thought of that before. Cats. That's why kids... Look at him. He's searching for a heart of gold. This is rude. This is a rude movie. So dumb. It's the dumbest movie. It's so dumb. It's rude to me. I mean, you're being rude to me. You're making me watch this. You made me watch it? No, no, no, not you. Whoever made it. Oh. Like, if they put that out there that you're making me watch this, you're being rude. When I was a kid, though, this was like gospel. I was like, I believed that this could happen. Well, it probably can. Not right now, but one day. Yeah. Imagine if they found some fucking... Remember that one dude they found that had... I think he had an arrow stuck in his back and he was... He had fallen into a crack in the glacier or something like that. He's been completely frozen. And then when the glaciers receded, they found him. And this guy had tattoos. It's like really, really interesting stuff. Yeah. Well, this is... You know, this is my favorite theory. It's like they're gonna do it to one of the pharaohs, to the mummy. Oh, yeah. So they were right. The mummification process was because they understood that if you preserve your body long enough, they bring you back. Oh my God. And then right when they bring that being back, it starts controlling things. It just gets back to work. Could you imagine if they brought a pharaoh back to life? And he was like that dude from 300. Yeah. Super charismatic. You know, super charismatic. Xerxes. He's like Xerxes, but also Dr. Manhattan. Yeah. Imagine we bring him back and he is the governor of AI. Yeah. And he just takes over from here.