Iliza Turned Her "Fake Yale Graduate" Story Into a Movie

So you made a movie about the story that you told on the podcast about a guy who pretended that he was from Yale and you found out later in your relationship that he was not and he was completely full shit. Yeah. I told that story on your podcast a couple of years ago and I was trying to think if that was the first time I'd ever been on your podcast in this iteration, like as the huge Joe Rogan experience podcast. I couldn't remember if I'd been on it before prior to that. I think you had. I think so too. But I think I was like, that would be the perfect bookend to this story because the first time I told it in its totality was here and then here I am and I've made this movie. It's such a crazy story. The fact that the guy that that really was what he was doing, he was just completely lying about his background and who he was. But it worked for a little while. Well, you know, so I remember when I told the story and of course the feedbacks all like you're a dumb bitch. What's wrong? Why is there a woman talking about anything? And so I was just like, OK, I got to be careful in the way that I parse out this narrative. And my answer is, you know, there's red flags that we're taught to think about. You know, you're walking down the street in New York City and someone gives you a look. You got red flags, right? You're at a you're doing a business deal. There's red flags in a relationship, you know, because of music and TV, we're all thought to think about cheating, right? And lying in that way. I meet you randomly and in the first five minutes, I'm like, where'd you go to school? What do you do? I wouldn't I don't want to be the kind of person that has a radar up because these warrant lies like I'm the king of Spain. I have a fleet of yachts at my disposal. It was like I went to Yale just like my cousin did. And I do hedge funds like, OK, normal, normal. And that's how these kind of people get by. And so these warrant you met this guy on a plane, right? An airplane, an airplane. There's a different thing. It's just a grassy plane, specifically an airplane. So you were heading to a gig. He was sitting next to you. I was coming over Thanksgiving. I was just on my family. Some of them are on the East Coast. And I my big thing as a cop, like I always my whole career, I spend the money on the travel. Like that's a great investment. Like buy that first class ticket when you travel so much. I'm like, that's where the money goes. And you're usually sitting next to someone who looks like your dad in first class. It's seldom that I and this was I was probably 29 at the time, 28, 29 seldom you're sitting next to someone around your age, you know, and here's a guy. And so we just start talking because we're this around the same age. And that and we just got along super. He was funny. He was dorky, but smart, like just a cool guy. And I he had a girlfriend and I had a boy picking me up at the airport. And I think we exchanged like Twitter handles. This wasn't like salacious, like give me your details. And I was like, if you and your girlfriend ever want to come to a show, you know, your comic, you get it like a comedy store. I get paid the same way either way. So come on down to the store. But we became friends. And what made it easy was when your comic, you keep such odd hours. Like how many times have you eaten dinner at like one in the morning? You're like a dual for protein. Later night. Usually don't eat at night. All right, cool. I had intermittent fast, too. That's what I do on it. But I do my voice on it. I think it's just my generic beefy guy. I got that could be you. I could be me, bro. What you don't understand is that it's just a structure within a democracy, which is a manmade construct. Well, that could. It's not bad. It's not bad. It's not bad. I'd have to I'd have to. It's pro talk. That's like bro bro politics pro time. Pro intelligent talk. Yeah. So what did this guy actually do? What was his actual job? He worked at a hedge fund. And I mean, who checks that? Would a person who works at a hedge fund know the difference between a club headliner and theater headliner? Like there's like why? OK, that sounds really boring and whatever. I get that that's with numbers and and money. But he went to a college. You went to a college. Just not that one. Just lied about Yale. Right. Yeah. That's what I found out later. Work at a hedge fund. Yeah. But I think it was like super low level. Like he made it like oh I'm starting my own business and you know you're 29 years old. You're sitting in a first class seat and you're dressed like a dork and you're talking. Why wouldn't I believe you? I have plenty of friends who are successful at things other than stand up and most you know. My point was that if he just was himself and he just said I'm working at a hedge fund and was the same guy just as funny. That's probably like him. That is the completely keyed in on it. The whole takeaway from the movie is all the things that he didn't lie about were the things that I actually valued the most. He was you cannot fake intelligence. You cannot fake sense of humor. You cannot fake wit. Right. And he had those. He had those things. He was unattractive which is probably a big source of his insecurity and whatever else society put on him. But that was the sad part was I wasn't that impressed by going to a good school and having a job I've never heard of. Right. Hey you just said like I went to this regular school and I do this. I still would have said come to the comedy store. I still would have had drinks. So that's a it's not a shame because I really am into my husband and the way that that worked out. But that's the weird the sad part is that we put rather than just be good at something someone just like lied and built a whole world around it. Have you kept in touch with that guy. Oh yeah we hang out all the time. No. Oh my God. No but I'm gross. No I mean he's never reached out and said hey I heard that story. No nothing. I know. How long did you date him for. Only three months. We were friends for a full year which is why it kind of it. You don't question your friends as much. And here's someone that always showed up. The dudes in my group like all the comics that you know that I'm friends like they've all met him. Like we go out drinking and my schedule is so weird. So I'd be like I need to get dinner like 11 he'd be down for it. I was like great. He got a malleable schedule and we were friends for that year. I have best friends in L.A. and I've been to their apartment twice in 15 years. So you're not checking on things because I just take it it's normal at face value where you live and stuff like that. And to be honest the closer we became as friends the more he like he was like look I really like you and we would always you know you're in your 20s you're going out drinking. I never wanted to go to his house. He would meet me at my condo and we would go or my friends come over because I was like there's no reason if you know that if I know you like me and I don't like you there's no reason for me to go to your house. Like you want to be on neutral territory. I'm not afraid of my physical safety but in terms of messaging I think that's a little like I don't like you but I'll get drunk and hang out in your room. We're not doing that. I got a house. Smart. There's a bar. Right. Right. And I was very honest the whole time. I'm like I'm just not there yet and I do go on dates like I said yet though. Saying there's a chance. That was I think I was just saying there's a chance which is how guys think. Yeah but I was very honest very honest in being like look I there was a chance because you wound up getting together with them. Yeah but I didn't see it that way. That's like but you get it. I mean that's you're talking about an eventuality that no one could foresee because I was dating other people. Right. Right. Consistency was key. Well actually we'll hang out in that friend zone. I hear that and I would always say. I'm not into you in fact I'm going on a date tonight but by the way if you if you can't handle that you don't want to be my friend. That's OK. I would give him these outs. Right. And the truth is I wasn't into him. We were very close as friends. And then one day he told me his mom had cancer. Oh I remember this. Right. So as a human and as a woman you know like there's a vulnerability that he cried probably thinking about he's probably crying about what a good liar he is but like his mom didn't really have cancer. No. Yeah that's what's fucked up. I remember this and I forgot that part of it. I met her. We just like you know my heart opened up and you can as a woman you can become. This is my big thing. You can become attracted to a man who are physically not attracted to because of personality. Men it doesn't work. Joe you've never been like that girl is a warthog but it turns out she's really funny. So I do want to put my mouth on hers. Like you've never in your life been like but she got a great personality. But girls do. It's just we're cerebral. You know and men are very visual. And so it was all the kindness. How smart how fun. All this stuff. Mom got cancer. I'm like oh my God I need to be there for this person who's been nothing but kind to me as a human. And my heart opened up. Whatever. And I met her. It was around the holidays and so we. Yeah because we met in November and this was I remember I was going like Christmas craft shopping. And we met at like a craft store. And she was there. I'd never you know she has cancer and he said she's very sick so I didn't want to be in delicate. I didn't want to be like how's your cancer. Susan. You know. So I remember asking her like how are you feeling. And of course this woman's like feeling fine. Why have you heard otherwise. Oh God. And we only talked for like a half hour you know and I remember at the time thinking like oh this is a guy that I really like and I. If she's going to die I want her to know that her her son is with someone who's kind. I remember thinking that. Wow. Because. That's so heavy. It's so heavy. And I didn't find out that she didn't have the cancer until after I realized all the lies and I'd broken it off. I ran into some mutual friends and I was like I just you know he's a fucking loser. I must be in literally insane. That's an insane person. He's an insane person but also the story is so insane and you so have to tread lightly as a woman because people find fault no matter what you do. Like I remember someone saying like well you're a gold digger and I was like how's that now. Like I've made a bunch of my own money since I was like 25. No but it opened my eyes up to the perception just of when you tell a story that's so honest the feedback that you get and you're like OK let me control this narrative. So that's why in the movie she's not some struggle. I put her as like a mostly successful to show like this doesn't like she needed anything right. A lot of articles are like she was so strong it's like no no she just didn't wake up and die. I wonder what other lies that guy because that's not a guy who's done that for the first time. Like if someone's lying about their mom having cancer. It's such a crazy lie such bad karma. What would have what bad energy to go through life like that. It's like the momentum of all those lies must be like inescapable. Like how does one stop and become an honest person when you're lying about that many things. And intimate things like your mother. The person who gave life to you. You're lying and saying that she has cancer so that a girl will like you more. It's really insane. Super beta. And it's well it's it's a pattern that's a strange pattern because like what makes people lie. You know. Feeling insufficient. You know feeling that you and this is for better or for worse. We hold men to a certain standard in our society. I'm not excusing this behavior. I'm just saying you know men who don't want to be sensitive or don't want to cry or afraid to show vulnerability because we have this like macho archetype. Most women don't actually expect that and they want you to be yourself and open up and. But we do just as we put things on women we do put things on men and we don't have conversations about that. The difference is men don't realize like all you got to do is go out. I talk about this on stage and like just be good at something. And there will be a girl who will like ride or die with you in your Toyota passenger seat like that's my baby. He's the best mustache grower like be all these comics that we're talking about. They all fuck funny guys fuck so you could be funny you have to be attractive. You could just be kind you could just be good at like magic the gathering. There's a girl that's cool that but some people just think if I posture and I lie I'll get the kind of girl I deserve. Don't you think it's also that kind of like financial world like the financial world is very much about filled associate pass. There's a lot of that sure but it's all about like what kind of car do you drive a kind of watch do you have. Where is your where is your house. You know what how much money are you making how much did you make last year. What's your what's your end goal. So those archetypes like that patina of a person right like you have to be the what's his name an American psycho. Yeah. Patrick Bateman. Having to be that in the whole movies about that expectation. Business card things like that I mean I didn't include. He told me he was in Skull and Bones. Oh Christ. And I remember thinking like I don't know that's a pretty that's a pretty big secret people and he invited me he's like I'm going to London for like a reunion like an event. Do you want to come. And I was like sort of but I do need my own room like I'm not gonna share a room with you and then of course he ended up not going. Of course. But there are things where they're so out of my room like I am not in Skull and Bones and it seems so foreign so you fit the bill I guess you could be. I think when you think you'd be more successful. If you're using Skull and Bones isn't that one of those things where you're connected to all those. How do you gauge how successful someone is by their car because he drove a really nice car. Did he. And I never saw his house and he dressed well and spoke like. So you thought he was very successful. He presented as a kid that I went to school with. But he obviously was kind of doing well if he did work for a hedge fund. Anyone can they will let almost anyone sign a lease to a car car. What kind of car was it. It was like an Audi. I couldn't tell you what kind. Nice car. It's an. Yeah. So. Doing pretty good. I guess so. But I also like was it so impressed like I had my own car. You don't give a fuck anyway if a guy had a Porsche and he lived in a mansion. My husband drives a Mazda and I drive a Honda Civic hybrid that I help people. I won on last comic standing. You still have that. That's how I reflect. You still have that fucking. I love it. Wow. Catch new episodes of the Joe Rogan experience for free only on Spotify. Watch back catalog JRE videos on Spotify including clips easily seamlessly switch between video and audio experience on Spotify. You can listen to the JRE in the background while using other apps and can download episodes to save on data costs all for free. Spotify is absolutely free. You don't have to have a premium account to watch new JRE episodes. 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