How Bridget Phetasy Beat Her Hypochondria

I mean, I think about how much, like how many mental health tools I need. I don't, I'm like you, I have mental health problems. I've had anxiety in my past. I had debilitating hypochondria that I overcame. How'd you overcome it? Man, I should really write a book about it. I should write, kill your hypochondria before it kills you. Because it was debilitating. It's a good title. Solid title. It was debilitating. And it was, I- Most people don't get past that. My therapist was like, you, how did you do this? But it was basically, I took, okay, so, it was kind of a three-prong attack because I'm like, I can't live like this. Because hypochondria truly makes you feel insane. And you know, you can objectively know, I'm crazy, but your mind gets stuck, it's like OCD. And so it's kind of based in OCD because you get stuck in a loop. Like I would just get stuck in a loop. For instance, like there's something wrong with my lip. There's something wrong with my lip. There's something wrong with my lip. There's something wrong. It gets broken? I don't know. I would just get stuck in that loop. Or I have throat cancer. I have throat cancer. I have, you know, I would just be like stuck in this crazy loop. It's insane. Did it come slowly or did it- It got worse. Did you always have it? No. I think I come from like a long line of hypochondriacs though now. Because my mom used to have, you know those, do you remember those books before the internet where it was like, if you have this, it was like a choose your own adventure, but it was like, if you have this symptom, before the internet there are these books where you could be like, if you have this symptom, go to page 233. And if you have this, and I remember my mom would use those quite a lot. So I think she has some of it. My dad is just a big worry wart. So I have that kind of neurotic energy, I believe. But I think too, I was smoking a lot of weed and I mostly got it when I was hungover. Like that's when it would be the worst is I would be hungover. So anyway, I had to- How because you were realizing what you did to your body. I think I just had, I had to attack it from three different places. So the first is the actual, I was like, all right, I'm gonna rewire my fucking brain. And I set myself out to do this. And I put a rubber band on and I did that stupid thing, but it totally worked where if I was like, there's something wrong with my lip and I'd snap my rubber band and I'd be like, I'm healthy. I would just replace it with I am healthy. And if I- How'd you come up with that idea? I read somewhere that it's a good way to help with like repetitive thoughts or to just help yourself. I mean, I was training my dog at the same time too. And I was like, this is kind of like dog training. I just have to interrupt that, you know, like- That's hilarious. That firing. And there's that whole idea of what fires together. It's not even an idea. It's like what fires together, wires together. So every time, the other thing I had to do was be- Explain that. What fires together, wires together. So it's this concept of whatever you're kind of thinking and acting on, it just creates like a pathway, a neural pathway in your brain that gets stronger and stronger if it's like the, like for instance, so this is why part two was replacing the thought, but I also couldn't act on it. So I couldn't go look in the mirror. I couldn't go Google anything if I thought I had cancer. I had to cut myself off from acting on, because a lot of people who have hypochondria, they'll obsessively Google, they'll go get tested for everything. They'll spend thousands of dollars getting tests. Luckily, I was not on, didn't have insurance. I was too poor to really like lean fully into my hypochondria that way. And I just had to stop myself from the action because that, you know, anytime you have a thought and you act on it, it reinforces that connection, that like mind-body connection and it would reinforce that pattern of worrying. And then I had to start observing. I kept, this is very, I guess too, it's very like CBT, so cognitive behavioral therapy. I didn't know this is kind of what I was doing, but I would keep, now they have very, it's like you keep a record, a thought, what they call a thought log. And I would just document when I had the thought, what brought it up, like what triggered that thought, because there was always kind of a trigger, and then what action I took and what action I could take to replace it. And so I, sometimes it's just not acting on it at all. And then I started working with therapists on all the things that were underpinning those, the triggering thoughts. So one was like, I couldn't hold joy. I just, anytime I felt like I was excited about doing anything, I was going to Hawaii. That was when I was like perseverating on my lips and I couldn't, it was like I could not enjoy anything without my brain telling me that everything was going to shit and I was going to die. So I had to look at that. Where does that come from? Feelings of worthlessness, upbringing, whatever. Then the other one was shame around sexuality. Like there was just some, a lot of shame around, like I was pretty promiscuous when I was drinking a lot and I didn't, I wasn't always proud of the men I woke up with and it happens to the party girls. And I was an international slut and there were some, I'm Catholic too, raised Catholic. So that shit got squirted in before I had a chance in hell. And so there was lots of shame around that that I had to really look at and deal with. And yeah, so I just started looking at all this stuff and I like, it took me, it was work. It was fricking work. And now I'm like completely free of it. That's amazing. That's amazing, you did that, congratulations. I mean, I definitely, I feel like I can live and breathe and I can just be present. Meditation was big. And then I think a lot of people forget that, drinking and substances are not a coping mechanism. They can be if you are not using them addictively. But for many people like drinking is they'll be like, I have a coping tool, it's drinking. I'm like, that's not a coping tool. It exacerbates it, whether you like it or not. So I had to quit that and I was joking, just like how many fucking things I need to do to start my days. I'm like, I wake up, I meditate, I have to like, I have to work out or I'm a crazy person. I've got a sweat. I just know what I have to do. And people, it's important, I think instead of, and people ask me all the time how I deal with the online hate and all that. I'm like, I just go work out. That's my answer to everything. Yeah, that's an answer. Go work out. Because it requires effort and it requires, as much as it's difficult when you're sitting down in front of a computer to overcome procrastination and write, multiply that times 10 and it's getting to the gym. Because the physical discomfort of, you're like, oh, you're brain will mind fuck you. Episodes of the Joe Rogan Experience are now free on Spotify. That's right, they're free from September 1st to December 1st. They're gonna be available everywhere. But after December 1st, they will only be available on Spotify, but they will be free. That includes the video. The video will also be there. It'll also be free. That's all we're asking. Just go download Spotify. Much love, bye bye.