Demetrious Johnson on Letting Go of Trying to Be Perfect

That right hand was so perfect too, the timing of that. And the knee on the fucking cheekbone. Yeah. It was a good fight. It was a beautiful fight. And how satisfying was that for you to come back from the first fight that you guys had? It was good. It was good, but... That guy's facing the right... At least the matchmaker, Rick, is hilarious. For me, after the first fight I had with him, I went through... I think 2019... I think it was 2019. 2020 was a huge shift in my life, you know? That affected me differently and my mindset. And so when I lost that first fight to him, I was so... I wasn't mad about losing. I was mad about... I put so much pressure on myself about being perfect. And it just drove me insane. Everything I want to do is perfect. I still had that in me, but... In what way? What do you mean? So, I don't know. I felt like... I remember being in the hotel room and I rewatched the fight and then I felt like it was just out there. So my sister passed during... I was getting ready for a fight. This is where it kind of stemmed from. So I was getting ready for a fight. My sister, she died. And then seeing her pass and then seeing basically the end game of life. Like being here and seeing her just like... She's there and then seeing her go through the trauma and then her being gone. And then seeing the traumatic how it affected my mom. And after... You know, I remember when everything happened. I was in the hospital and I was like... You guys need help clean up all this blood? Because I can help. Then she goes, honey, that's okay. Just go home. I was like, alright, mom, I love you. Let me know if you need me. I go home, started balling. My wife's there. I mean, that was a huge movement in my life. I was like, that's fucking end game. Like doesn't matter what you've done before. That's you got to go peaceful. You go, you know, dramatic, right? So that happened. And I was... And then it was pointing me. I was like, damn, like I called Matt. I was like, hey, I'm not gonna be in training today. I gotta go bury my sister. Right? And I took a step back and I was like, fuck, man, I'm always training for a fight. Always training for a fight. And my sister just died and I'm... I can't go train because I gotta go bury her. But there was like weird shit to my mind. I was like, I'm always getting ready for a fight. Always giving me for a fight. And then I went and fought, won the World Grand Prix. Fast forward, get ready to fight Adriano. We go through COVID-19, right? All the gyms are shut down. Our gym kind of like we got relocated. So there's only three of us training. And then I fight Adriano and I was... The game plan was there, but I just felt like I wasn't... Matt even said he... After I came back from the knockout, he was like, you know, when you left, I wasn't comfortable where you're at. Like when you left, I was like, you're just gonna have to fight through this. You're gonna have to just get through it. And then sitting in the hotel room and I was like, why am I putting this stress on myself? Why? For what? And then... That was like kind of like a snapping period. Then when I fought Raab Tang, I was like, everybody's so worried about winning and losing. Why? Why? Because you're gonna die someday. You're gonna die someday. So why the fuck are you worried about winning and losing? Are you having fun? Yeah. Okay, perfect. Who cares if you win or lose? So I went through a fight him. I was like, all right, you know, I said, I told Matt, I was like, I'm not gonna fucking run. Like, I'm an exchange. Like, I don't care if he has an R-chain. I'm gonna go out there and give him my best. And then there's A$AP Rocky said, when has it ever been cool to knock somebody down? It's never been cool. Whoever made it cool to belittle somebody or whatever is not cool, right? So that's always in the back of my head. So when I fought Raab Tang and then I felt that success, not success, but I felt like I won the fight. And I was like, oh, you did a good job. I was like, thanks, man. Appreciate it. You know, go back home, take care of the wife and kids. And then when I fight Adrian on the second time, I was like, we do the training camp. It was probably the toughest training camp, but I started doing things different, right? Like before I'm like, I gotta be perfect. I can't I can't have any beer. I can't go watch concert. I gotta be strict. And I was like, I think the last sparring session after the Adrian fight, I was like, what's our concert? Had two beers, had a fucking chicken sandwich. And I'm like, I need to enjoy my life because eventually I'm going to die, right? And I don't want to be in my death bed. I was like, man, I was so strict and all that stuff. Like I want to enjoy my life. And so that right there from that traumatic thing in my life, it's just shit to my whole perspective. Like on my birthday, August 13th, I was my Bible was like, oh, we didn't get you any alcohol. We just got, you know, all water. And I was like, no, give me a fucking glass of champagne. Like I'm 30. I'm 36 years old. Like I've been doing this for fucking if I if I train eight weeks and I can have one fucking beer and it's going to change my outcome of winning this fight, then I don't deserve to win the fight, I guess. So it is what it is. So I feel like that and that whole mindset is just made me a better, a better athlete, better fighter. Because it's really some pressure from you. Pressure of being perfect. Right. And that's how it is. Like I remember one day I was like, I just grappled that new wave, right? And I was grappling a kid who was 18 years old and he was fucking working me. And someone who has an ego who like, I'm the best fighter in the world. Like that should never happen for me. I'm like, dude, you're fucking good. Good job. I'm so excited to see I'm so excited to see what you've been able to achieve. And in nine years, you've been grappling under John Donohue. Like I'm so happy for you. So proud of you. I want to follow you. I'm going to follow your career. Right. Like just my whole mindset has just shipped. And yeah, I don't know what it is. I mean, I know what it is. It's that. But for me, that's how I like to look at my fights now. And that's been making me. Randy Kotor said that once to me. Yeah. He was talking about fighting and winning. He's like so many people put so much pressure on winning. He's like, he goes, you do your best. Yeah. He goes, you're trying to win. And if you lose the same people who love you, they're still going to love you. You're still going to have your friends. Yep. It's you're going to be okay. Yeah. And that's that's that's like taking my games in a whole new level. Like I truly believe that. Like I believe that. Believe that. Like just that mindset of slight. I don't give a crap. It's like like they're like, who are you going to fight? Yes. I'm like, I don't care. Doesn't change. Does it change my pay? Does it change my outlook on life? Doesn't does it change me from my end game, which is financial freedom, right? So doesn't care. I don't care who it is. You know when it is. I just want to make sure that I never lose focus of my end game. And yeah, that's helped me a lot. You