Man, Tim Dillon's impression of me is hilarious. The guy has a knack for really zeroing in on a person's character and amplifying it for comedic effect. He's got this great way of making you laugh at yourself. I don't take myself too seriously, I can enjoy a good laugh, even if it's at my own expense. Plus, Dillon's one of the most important comedians of our time. We have to be able to appreciate his genius.

Well, it's not that I don't appreciate soccer. I mean, you can't deny the athleticism and skill it requires. And hey, Messi is an unbelievable athlete, and having him on an Austin FC team I invested in would be wild. But here's the thing, soccer just doesn't resonate with me the way other sports do. I mean, I've tried to watch World Cup games and everything, but it's just dudes running around to me.

And also, I got to tell you, the flopping in soccer drives me crazy. I mean, in America, we don't have much patience for that kind of behavior and it's a big part of why soccer hasn't taken off here as much as other sports. We can see the flopping, we're not blind.

But hey, that's the beauty of sports, right? Different strokes for different folks. Just because I don't get fired up about soccer doesn't mean I can't appreciate the passion others have for the game. There's a whole world of soccer fans out there, more power to them. After all, diversity in passion is what makes life interesting, isn't it?

Man, I gotta tell you, I'm not directly invested in Austin FC. But as someone who loves the energy around sports and the community it builds, I'm definitely invested in a spiritual sense. I've seen what a shared love for a team can do for a city, like with LAFC in Los Angeles. It's a beautiful thing, man. And Austin is a great city, rich with culture, the people there deserve a team to rally around. Being part of that in some way, even just as a fan, that's a cool thing.